fredag 27 september 2013

My poker is going better,but emotionally Im still having a bit of a struggle. Im more than happy to have my bf back with me, but then again already sad for the day he will leave again.funny ha?how you can't really enjoy it cause you know it will be gone in a matter of no time.Hopefully it gets easier in time,no doubt...just wish I was born a professional at relationships:)All the emotional battles is having it's tool on me so the night and day was spent with migraine stranded in bed.sobbing and feeling sorry for myself. This weekend we have planned to spend with my bf family so I hope I will be rid of this insane headache. Right now I'm working a little (2 poker tables) while watching ally mc beal...guess there are worse ways to spend a thursday eve:)shuddent really complain!so with that said I wish ya all a super weekend!last days of summer is here so spend a day in the park and enjoy the sun if you can!!kissses

torsdag 26 september 2013


Melbourne is really nice! We can't decide whether we prefer Sydney or Melbourne. So far we have been doing some more shopping, meeting some of Ian's friends, had some random run ins with ex flirts (hehe) and spend a lot of time at the beach.

Right now I'm at the hair saloon, it was about time..

onsdag 25 september 2013

My bf went out for a big session of exercising.I'm still on the lazy side,but will do some yoga to ease my guilt of not exercising. We had a big breakfast of fresh home made paleo bread and raw milk smoothies,yumm,.If you want to do some easy yoga and take some extra care of your body,you can watch and follow this video:)

tisdag 24 september 2013

Im alive and catching up lost time with my man!We been eating a lot of food,smoking a little and drinking a lot of wine.Its nice,its relaxing!Yesterday I played some tourneys and I think my happiness is impacting my game on a positive level.thank god.Here are some eyeopening facts about gluten,hopefully you wont ever want to eat it again!please read!

fredag 20 september 2013

The beauty of giving

The days have been sunny here in Sydney so I've been out a lot, hanging in the park and having coffee at my favorite outdoor spot by the opera house. I've been reading a health and nutrition book by one of my favorite health gurus, Paul Chek. He writes a lot about the importance of positive mentality, qui gong(not sure it's spelled like that) and the practice of giving and unselfishness etc. Inspired by his wise words I went to the store this morning and bought a bunch of bananas and then went out to give one to every homeless person I came by. One man gave me a huge smile, he had no teeth and said the only fruit he could eat was banana and that I made his day. This moved me so much I almost started crying. Spending the morning just giving and making people who are worse off feel at least a little better, made me feel really serene and happy in return, a win win situation I would call it.
Now I'm having some coffee while finishing the book.

torsdag 19 september 2013

Today I decided to bake some bread,I miss the taste of freshly made bread in the morning. Since I don't eat any gluten poison I made it with clean organic ingredients.

(32) cute | TumblrThis is what I used ; 3 eggs, 1 sweetpotatoe, 3 dl almond flour, 1 dl peanut butter, 1 tsp of baking powder and some dadles and walnuts for the crunch.

Just mix the dry and the wet ingredients in different bowls and then stir them together when they are well blended. The sweet potatoe needs to be ovenbaked,so it's more like a pure.Put it in the oven on high temperature for about 25 minutes!Yummm

So hope you will enjoy these ones as much as me!I'm about to go to the farm to get some eco meat and rawmilk. My boyfriend arrives late tonite so want to have everything we need in the fridge for the upcoming days:)

tisdag 17 september 2013

Arrived about an hour ago to a rainy holland.I really dont know what feels more like home Sweden or Holland?!BUT damn is good to be sleeping in my huge comfortable bed tonite!
This apartment is so beautiful and I have been missing this place. Im very exhausted but will play some poker to ease down.Here are 2 photos just to show you how tired I actually am.Strange,I always get puffy big eyes when others get small eyes while being tired...haha I really need a rest:)night

Alone time

this is how happy I am about being photographed while eating :)
The main reason we went to Australia is actually because Ian is attending a big hostel conference here, I don't know if I have told you guys what he does, but he is the owner of the Cabanacopa hostel back in Rio. The conference started today and will go on until Saturday, which means bf is gonna be busy attending the conference during the days and hostel related events in the evenings. So until Saturday I will be mostly on my own. I have a pretty good idea of what my days are gonna look like: i'll be going to the beach on the sunny days, I looked up all the best cafes in Sydney and will be having one cappuccino a day at each place, I'll study some poker (finally fixed the computer!), I'm probably gonna do my hair, a little shopping and I'm gonna buy a book to read in parks etc. I also bought a notebook today where I will scrabble down thoughts, schedules, plans and ideas, I always have a lot of them when I travel. The hotel has a really nice gym, I guess I should pay it a visit to it as well during these days..

Today we went to one of the recommended cafes and then we did some shopping. We got fans for our laptops, a bunch of new clothes for bf, and as a thank you for being the personal shopper I got a really nice jumper I've been looking at for a while. Back at the hotel we had a big dinner (love their ribs!) and now I will spend the rest of the night alone. Ian is meeting up with his friend who has a hostel in Buenos Aires and also came here for the conference. Instead of partying with hostel people I prepared with some snacks and found a movie which im gonna watch after I take a loong bath.

måndag 16 september 2013

When I was about 14,15 years old a serie called ally mc beal was a big thing on tv.It was my absolute favorite show,not only funny but I could relate to ally more than anyone before. I always been kind of goofy and some would call me strange,talking to myself and with a big imagination. In school my friends even started to call me Ally,I looked like her a bit too. Eventually the serie got old and other cooler series came along. But I always loved ally mc beal and now I started to watch it all over again!I forgot how funny it is and even now 13 years later I can relate even more!!
I went to get my hair cut and blond,but came out a brunette:)got my real hair color back and it feels good. I'm way too lazy to have blond hair that you need to take care of constantly. Wish I had a good camera to take a more clear photo,but guess my webcam is better than nothing.
Now time for poker and watch the movie about steve jobs with ashton:)yumm...
tomorrow I start my trip back to Holland,can't wait to get my hands on my hot man that arrives on thursday. Think he spent to much time there in Turkey,look at him!!Time to leave that tub.

söndag 15 september 2013

Aussie update

We absolutely love Sydney! We like it so much we could even consider moving here. It's like a mix of USA/California and Europe. The whole city is packed with food courts and markets with cuisines from all over the world. Most of the restaurants are big on organic, locally produced food, meat from grass fed/pastured animals and offer seasonally available menus. People are really nice and the service is great. We have been lucky with the weather so the past two days were spent visiting different beaches. Yesterday it was Manly beach and today we took the ferry to Byron Bay. Before the ferry we enjoyed two full cream cappuccinos by the harbor. When we arrived at we had lunch at a really nice place called Watsons Bay Boutique Hotel. Listening to Brazilian and Italian lounge music, getting some spring sun, eating oysters while looking at a beautiful view is what I would call a perfect start of the day!

After the best lunch so far we went to Bondi beach to enjoy the last of the sun. Now we're chilling before it's time for dinner and a movie.

lördag 14 september 2013

I just came back from another amazing day at the harbor,sun and sea!Tomorrow my grandparents will come for a visit and I will make some apple pie:)On Monday I will make a visit to the hairdresser,about time I guess. Don't have anything planned but think I will continue being blond even though I miss being brunette sometimes.Actually my real hair-color is more brownish,like this pic:)But I'm more comfortable as a blondie since I always been blond,and blonds do have more fun they say!
I been reading a lot of psychology lately,both to understand myself and the people surrounding me. Some things that might be completely normal to certain people is totally lunatic for others. Trying to understand people I need to put their personalities in different categories. I think everyone needs to do this if you are having problems with someone or if you just want to know how to deal with a difficult personality. I was reading about narcissist today and it hit me how many of these personalities I'm surrounded by. There are extreme narcissist and semi narcissist. A brief explanation of the personality,someone who loves themselves so much that it affects everything they do. They like to be the center of attention,having all conversation about them,listen to you for a minute and then leading back the conversation to them. They have a hard time to put themselves in the shoes of others and have a hard time understanding other people problems,especially if they are a part of it. They also try to align to important people,institutions,fancy schools,clubs,activities and jobs. Extreme narcissist are very superficial and hard to depend on,some can be very cruel to others to feel better about themselves. They can't understand how other people can't see them as they see themselves, extremely wonderful and delightful. They can't put others first and the person most important is themselves. They tend to have new friends and many superficial friends surrounding them. 
Maybe it's a difference between narcissists and just full of themselves. But I guess there is a fine line,we all need to be careful sometimes with how we act. All of us want to have a part of everything I did mention but when we stop understanding or caring for others we need to recognize the signs. I think in todays society it's extremely easy to fall in the narcissistic duvets. We have facebook,instagram,blogs,twitter that are all material for narcissistic use. People want compliments and are almost craving for attention and recognition. The more the merrier. Instead of using media to help others we are using it to higher ourselves. Posting photos of our bodies,of our faces while doing a duck lip or while working is sickening. I think it is a narcissistic way instead of insecurity that some people believe. Again I will state the obvious,surround yourself with people that give love and happiness.

fredag 13 september 2013

Today we spent the whole day at the harbor me and mami!it's still summer and sun here,but a little to cold for a swim though.On tuesday I'm leaving sweden for this time,hoping that the weekend will continue with warm summer weather.Now it's time for work!

Fish market

Sydney is abundant in fresh fish and seafood. Yesterday we had a nice lunch at the fish market by he harbor, they had a huge variety and range of seafood. If I lived here this would probably be my main source for grocery shopping, in conjunction with the farmers markets. Love that this is such a slow food city!

onsdag 11 september 2013

A normal day being me with pms. I spilled coffee on my white shirt,I missed the bus just to catch the next one and discover that my bus-card was out of credit. I went to the lawyer to get a confirmation for Paulines visa (very nice bigsister;) just got get a NO due to failure reading the signature from the principal on her grades. My 4th mouse for the computer stopped working.I borrowed my mum husbands mouse and forgot it in my bag when I was out and he needed it. I manage to sit on my glasses so they break completely...and finally I have a 2 hour discussion on skype with my bf...just a lovely day,no?take me back to this photo,now,i need it.

Jet lag from hell

After a loong flight we finally arrived in Sydney. I crashed the minute I laid down and then woke up rested and ready for the day at 1am.. I watched doucmentaries until early morning and spent hours learning everything about how earth was created and our evolution, until bf finally woke up and we went down for some breakfast. After that we went out to look around and buy some important stuff like phone card and kombucha. At mid day I was incredibly tired and had to go back to sleep, woke up after 7 hours and now I don't really know what time zone I'm in. Being extremely jetlagged, going out for dinner seemed like too much work so we got some roomsercvice instead. Getting served slow cooked ribs with sweet potato in bed was exactly what needed. Now we are gonna watch a movie and try to get into Aussie time! 
there are so many injustices in this world,many things we can't control. The cruelty towards animals,children is something that really gets to me. Today I saw an article about a 8 year old girl from Yemen that was killed during her wedding night,by her husband. She was married with an 40 year old man and he abused her so much that she eventually died from her injuries.It made me cry.I always speak about how we can control our own destiny and how we influence this world.But honestly,how much could this poor girl do?How much does it help to think positive when it's too late or too impossible?!gah it makes me sick to see all this stuff happening to innocent people.I'm having my pms week now so everything affects me terrible much.Sometimes I wish I could turn off my feelings and just keep on smiling.Anyway my bigger question that I know many of you maybe don't agree with me on is;what is the meaning of religion?Living by rules that was made thousands of years ago,making cruelty legal?Abusing children,women and animals for the sake of it?disgusting! Why do people need to believe in something bigger!? what we should believe in is ourselves,mankind and plain love.

måndag 9 september 2013

Oh god what a trip we've had so far.. Now we're having cappuccinos in an attempt to relax a little while waiting for the last flight that will take us to Sidney... Instead of telling you boring details about what has happened it I'll post some of my inspo pictures instead! 
I'm sitting at my favorite coffee place here in Malmö. It's just by the harbor and you have the view over the sea and the bridge over to denmark. Beautiful,except the fact that there are some clouds on the sky today. I'm sitting here listening to Lykke li and going through pokerhands that I saved to calculate the right ods e.t.c. The indian summer is going to it's end and the autumn is sweeping in. I like this season, you have an excuse to snuggle up in blankets and light candles and drink tea. It's easy going days although I'm working with my poka,haha poor people out there with me always writing about this damn poker:)anyway speaking of work and stuff I decided to get myself some extra work.I always wanted an education, a safety net for the future. So I decided to apply for UNI next year,do a 3 year course while playing poker. For the program I want to study I need to do an extra course this autumn just to be able to apply.So right now I'm sending out application for courses on distance. So I hope I will be able to start the course this year!

This is me right now,the pirate look is due to a bad hairday;)haha

söndag 8 september 2013

Today I'm going to meet the whole family,my cousin is going to celebrate her birthday. So it will be some good food and maybe a glass of wine:)Yesterday my mum and husband where partying it up at some party and I had the apartment for myself with my kittens. I been eating like a maniac the latest days here,my goal is to gain back the 2 kg I lost during my depressed days. The poker is slowly getting better and I'm taking my time to think through my decisions.Like everything in life,before we react we should think it through.I always reacted first and then started to think...I'm off in a minute,tonite I will play poker,my favorite day of grinding.Here are my 2 sweeties right now.pure love

lördag 7 september 2013

Last day in rio

...for what probably will be a long time. I have outstayed my welcome for this year and I am not able to return until I have a Visa. We are doing what we can but there is a lot of paperwork and stuff like this is taken very seriously here. Hopefully it won't take more than a month, if it does I won't be returning to Brazil with Ian, instead I'll probably be heading back to Sweden or stop by sis in Holland until I get my visa, another option is to stay at Ians place in Athens, haha. Ah well, we'll see what happens. Now I have an amazing trip ahead of me to focus on! My little experiments yesterday went well and now I have a whole bunch of toxin free beauty products to bring.

Ok time to finish packing!

fredag 6 september 2013

Paleo for the skin.

Time to go 100% paleo. Without realizing it I have been consuming toxins despite my best efforts to eat a squeaky clean primal/traditional diet. The skin is our biggest organ and whatever we put on it, it consumes. Of course I have know about this and it's not like I've been drenching myself in body lotion or sun screen every day, but the few things I use adds up to quite a toxic level. What I currently use is deodorant, toothpaste, perfume, conditioner and occasionally sunscreen, reason being I just haven't found any good natural replacements and I've been to lazy to make them myself. That will end today. After spending the entire week reading and studying skin absorption and environmental toxins effect on our bodies, I am going 100% natural. I read the label on everything I eat, it's about time I do it on everything I put on my body as well, if I don't recognize it or can't pronounce it, I'm not gonna use it. 

Parabens are very common in most beauty products (they even put them in some processed foods, yikes), their link to cancer is obvious, the studies show that parabens are found in virtually all tumors. If that's not a good enough reason to quit using those products I don't know what is. Here is an article about it:

In two days we are heading to Australia and I decided that if I'm going with this I need to get some good substitutes for the trip or else I'm gonna push it until we get back. So today I'm dedicating the entire day to making my own beauty products. This morning did some hefty research on good substitutes and then I went to the health store and did some major shopping. It was really exciting to find my own ingredients, picking expensive all natural body butters and going through the essential oils, handpicking all my favorites. I obviously went for mint and eucalyptus for the toothpaste and for the shampoo, deo and conditioners I was deciding between lavender, rose and eucalyptus, I went for the latter. I figured if I want to have any chance at all getting bf into this I don't think rose or lavender is the way to go. To the right is a picture of what I bought and also some of the products I'm replacing. 

I'm not sure if you're interested in how I'm making these products so I'll just post links to where I found my info:
this ebook is a must-read for anyone interested in this:
websites with´great info on all things natural: 

hand of the week

call or fold?
These are days that I breath deeply,enjoy every walk by the sea and all the small things in my life that matters. I drink coffee at the harbor with extra cream,like I want it. I sit in the sun and read tons of pages about every thing there is. I allow myself to dream that one day I might own one of those luxurious apartments,by the sea.

I picture my future,it changed a lot during the years. But no matter how happy or sad I am,my future is bright.Already since years I know this is a place I will return to,over and over. Maybe I have my future here maybe in another country.But I hope wherever it is that I will be close to the sea and that I will be happy:)

torsdag 5 september 2013

Helan går

The crayfish party was really nice and packed with Swedes. We ate, drank and sang Swedish drinking songs and just had a great evening (the video pretty much sums it up). Other than that there hasn't been a lot happening, we are both working like crazy to prepare for the Australia trip, which is just 4 days away! I've been unlucky with 2 computers breaking down on me and the last one just working on and off but I'm hanging in there doing the best I can with what I  have until I'll get it fixed in Aussie.

Alright, time to have some dark chocolate finish my last tourney with the very suitable name "beaches of rio" and then finish with a good movie.  
I learned some new things about Malmö during the city tour.Malmö is basically built on water and 2 of the most important guys building our the city was actually Germans:)  After the city tour we ate a 3 dinner course in an Italian restaurant in Möllan(the most multi cultural part of malmö).Anyway the weekend promise sunshine and I can't wait to get some sun and D vitamins!Just 2 weeks left until my man comes...god can't believe the photos are already a year old,feels like yesterday.look at him,such a poser lol:D

onsdag 4 september 2013

I dream a lot right now and I see things that are not really there. Think the whole situation of ups and down has affected me even on a deeper level.Anyway this early morning I was having a nightmare, I was locked in a room and an intruder tried to get in. Suddenly the door to my room (the office of my mum and husband) opened and the intruder got in. I panicked and I sat up and screamed at the guy in english - what the fuck are you doing? the guy didn't answer and to my fear he started to jump on the newborn I had in a crib on the floor. I screamed again - you are killing him!!!and then I started to cry hysterically the guy suddenly started to run and closed the door in a bang. It was at this moment I really did wake up and realized that I been sleep talking screaming and that the guy probably was my mums husband. I'm sleeping in their office and he was probably just trying to get his papers when I scared him off.My mum opened the door a minute later and asked if I was ok,I explained her the situation and we started to laugh. Poor Johannes (the husband) did not laugh,he was all shattered. so lesson learned,don't wake me up when I sleep;)Im off to get some coffee by the harbour and later on meeting mum in the city.There is a city tour happening and later we are going to eat some nice food out!ciao

tisdag 3 september 2013

I woke up well rested,even heard the ocean and the waves outside my window. Spent the day by the sea reading books about how to detox your body. I'm going to take care of myself better,start to walk even if I do need to exercise,guess the energy for exercising will come in time. Right now I have to put the energy in feeling better and starting slowly with poker.Gonna play some tourneys now and then have a quiet evening.

måndag 2 september 2013

hi there!I just arrived to a beutiful sunset in Malmö!It feels good to be here and I already feel calm and in eaze. The flight went smooth and a gentlemen even helped me with carrying my bag even though it was just hand luggage:)Now its time for some tea and chocolate and some cuddling. Have the two most beautiful cats on the planet here as company since my mum and husband already went to sleep:)tomorrow awaits a day by the harrbour with sunbathing and a book!