torsdag 31 maj 2012

And even though I barely sleep I dream of you every night.


Good morning,I just got back from a long walk and a coffee by the sea.Right now I'm in a period of my life where a lot of things are changing.I always lived by one simple rule, follow your heart and do what makes you happy.when it comes to love, I always followed my heart.I been trough different relationships and I learned something from everyone.Yesterday was a hard day for me when things that's been forgotten got remembered. As I said goodbye to an old love I'm giving new love a chance.And even though there are no feelings left,the fire is out,but the ashes still burns me from time to time and hardest is to see something that I once held so dear burning out.And it hurts,damn it hurts.And I understand,loving someone is exhausting but noone ever tells you that leaving someone is just as hard.There is a time and place and someone for everything,everyone.How do you tell someone that this is not it...
this morning me and niclas met up with dad and his wife mia for breakfast and when we got back we went through a tournament i won yesterday to find leaks. now i just started grinding and hopefully this will be a good day :) when me and niclas grind we usually listen to science/history podcasts or political debates and when i have one or two tables i watch documentaries. i think it's important to keep yourself updated and educated even if you're not in school. yesterday we watched a documentary about the mafia in naples, sensitive as i am this time a month i started crying again. if you're not aware of the situation there you definitly should look it up.

have a great day :) 

things i like

it never really gets personal in the posts and we have a lot of readers that don't know us so well so i thought i'd make a list of 44 things/feelings i like so you get to know at least a little more about me:

seeing a person you've missed after a long time, winning a tournament, having a big meal after being really hungry, when people look you in the eye and are truly interested of what you have to say, having sex, boat rides, the feeling you get riding a roller coaster, butter, going for long walks listening to my favorite music,  telling a not so attractive man at a club/party that my sister has been checking him out and is afraid of taking the first step, the look on my sisters face when she realize it, family dinners,

put the tv on mute and make voices to the people with my cousin, spooning, being alone in the house singing and talking to myself, having great chemistry with someone, intelligent men with humor, walking around in paris, wrap my legs around the man i share the bed with, getting goosebumps while listening to the perfect melody/song at just the perfect moment, laughing so hard the stomach hurts, when guys bite their lip and look you in the eye, random people that comes over and give you a compliment, meat + the fat around the meat, taking the high heels off after a night out, walking around in new york hand in hand with a beautiful man, the feeling you get after exercising/yoga, going on crazy double dates in italy,

making out with a guy after a long period of flirting and realize he's a great kisser, chocolate, the feeling and confidence you have when you're dancing to loud music and you're just the perfect amount of tipsy, cappuccino's, skinny dippin, sitting in a car in sicily with a italian that is driving way too fast and listening to way to loud music, going to a nice restaurant, movies that make you cry, dad's food, sitting at a cafe watching people, eating strawberries with cream on a swedish sunny summer day, sex and the city, visiting my aunts in san diego, christmas eve in a snowy sweden, skiing down a perfectly steep slope in the afternoon sun, taking a bath with candles as the only light, barbecues.


onsdag 30 maj 2012

Here is one of my favourite photos of me and
Pauline,swedish midsummer in Italy 3 years ago!
Do you know that the words you stop yourself of saying often are the ones that haunts you the longest time.And the things you never did are the ones that you regret most. I'm lucky I never had any big regrets.It's strange come to think about how people work and how minds function.what do you regret most in the end,saying something,wishing you had not or saying nothing and wishing you had? Today I'm not particularly thrilled with anything.Right now I'm trying to focus on poker but there are so many other distractions that takes up time!Old relationships,new relationships,friends,enemys,strangers...future plans and past happenings.

reunion :)

today i feel better, of course im not gonna quit poker, downswings happen to every player. all i have to do is just keep playing and studying! this morning i made myself a really nice typical swedish breakfast and then i met up with therese and evelina to have a coffee at henry's cafe. we had a loot to talk about and laughed so much we cried, i love these girls! the bad mood completley disappeared :)

now it's time for work!

stop whining ya sissy!

after not being able to fall back asleep this morning i went for a long power walk and cleared my thoughts which was very nice. i stopped by for a cappuccino on the way back, bought some dark chocolate and baked ecological coconut bread when i got home, very tasty!

now im playing my last tables and drinking some tea with coconut milk. i think im starting to get fed up with poker, okay i have pms and a downswing at the same time + few hours of sleep but right now i feel like i had enough! iv'e been out drawn so many times today and at the final table (4 people left and i had a huge edge) at a 4k tournament i got 1 outed in a chip leader pot, leaving me crippled. that was a lot of poker language for those of you who don't play, anyway what happened was BAD and like the pms-ing little girl i am i started crying and told niclas i was giving up. he just laughed and told me to stop whining :S  first he starts the morning by terrorizing me out of bed and then when i need support and maybe a hug or two he laughs?! guys are weird, i'd never do that!
now im gonna watch a good movie, eat the whole damn chocolate and cheer up, this is ridiculous.

tisdag 29 maj 2012

poker focus

I had 2 screaming cats waking me up instead of an annoying brother so my morning went pretty smooth. Just had a huge breakfast and will start my grinding session now!After spending everyday with Niels(mr Holland)I feel kind of lonely ..have to go back into full focus and just be a poker nerd again:)So I give u the nerdiest poker pic of me ever!have a great day!

dont wake me up!

niclas in his teasing-mood
i hate being woken up, i think it's important to sleep until you wake up on your own. it is a sign that the body is rested and you are gonna be more energized throughout the day. i had a skype date with my man really late yesterday and fell asleep 2 hours later than i usually do, therefor my plan was to sleep two hours more. instead i got woken up an hour earlier than usual (!!), niclas was in his teasing mood and then he gets this "teasing face". he started with hitting on my feet and then he started screaming "P!, P!, P!" it took a while for me to react and then i screamed "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" the teasing face quickly disappeared and he got so chocked he couldn't say a word and just left the room. thanks for an awesome start of the day bro! i owe you.

now im gonna bake some coconut bread and then head off to a cafe.


The weekend has been wonderful,the weather has been unbelievable and to spend it with the perfect company was great!We been sunbathing,drinking coffe and eating good food.Today I had a bad start of poker so I will put up some nice pictures of the weekend to feel a little bit better:)

måndag 28 maj 2012

cappuccino cravings

good morning folks! i just woke up and made a cup of tea, the ear feels better today! yesterday the poker went well, i love sundays. also got a visit from my dear friends eric, evelina and therese, man i have missed them!

what i would like to do is an hour of yoga but i think it's better to wait until im fully recovered, but i think i can handle that cappuccino and breakfast at the cafe today tho :) i haven't had a cappuccino in while and im starting to feel the cravings. i forgot all my poker books at mom's so ill read some magazines and catch up a little, i have no idea who half of the famous people right now are. that's what happens when you're away from sweden for 9 months and have been away from sweden more often than not for the past years, the only thing i keep myself updated about is swedish news.

söndag 27 maj 2012


this morning i was supposed to go to a cafe nearby, have a nice breakfast+ cappuccino in the sun and read a good book. instead im stuck here, my ear is hurting so much i can't even get out of bed and i feel as bad as i look. i shouldn't play poker feeling like this but stubborn as i am i just signed up for today's tourneys and started grinding. i mean.. it's sunday, i have to play.

what defines a workaholic?

mothers day

happy mothers day mom, we love you!

a good laugh

the funny one
me and niclas were watching this new poker documentary, it is really good and i recommend all of you to watch it and if you're a poker player its a must :) anyway, we laid there watching the movie, they had interviews  with the biggest players in the world like phil ivey, chris moneymaker and daniel negreanu and footage from their prime time etc. then all of a sudden me and femi pop up on the screen, me and niclas couldn't utter a word - we just looked at each other and then started laughing like hell, it was so surreal. we went back to print screen it, first the shot were both me and femi are seen and then the shot where you can only see femi, and it got even more fun - the more you look at the last picture the funnier it gets. they all look hilarious, femi looks like a cartoon character called lilla my and it looks like she is about to start crying, the guy next to her seems to have an iq of 40, the big guy to the left (a famous poker player caller greg raymer) looks crossed eyed, i dont know if i even need to comment the guy in the glasses?, the girl that pops up behind femi seems to suffer from downs syndrome (which i can verify she didn't) and then finally the girl by the computer looks like a witch. man oh man we laughed.
lilla my

that's all for tonight! watch the documentary, here is a link to it. we pop up at 01.45.50

lördag 26 maj 2012

summer vacaction

hey everyone!I just gonna do a quick update before I go to bed to watch a movie!As u know Im having a visit from Holland so I been busy walking around,eating,drinking and just enjoying the beautiful weather!Today we been watching euro vision song contest hehe....and sweden is on top!YEAH;)no poker,vacation time!

forshems gästgivaregård

i just had breakfast and im gonna study poker a couple of hours until the first table starts. i don't feel like studying at all but i made a huge cup of tea and have some dark chocolate that will make me feel at least a little better about it. last  night was really nice! the food was amazing as always and it was fun catching up with dad and mia.

fredag 25 maj 2012

i was gonna take the day off but after the shopping i couldn't help myself and started registering to the tourneys. im only gonna play 4-5 though because tonight we are going to our dads restaurant to have a 3 course gourmet dinner :) im really looking forward to it, i haven't been there in a looong time and the food is absolutely delicious. i dont know if we've written about it but our dad has a slow food/gourmet restaurant on a mountain nearby called kinnekulle. the restaurant is swedens oldest tavern dating from the 1500's. here is a link to the restaurant's homepage it's gonna be nice to see dad again, it's been about a year.  now im gonna finish the tables and then get ready! here are some pics of the restaurant and dad after the release of his cookbook.

having some yogurt with nuts and a cup of green tea, getting ready for a day of shopping :) not the fun type of shopping though, we are gonna buy hardware for the apartment. im just gonna help with a little interior design and pick curtains etc. niclas is still sleeping, grandpa woke up at 7 and is frustrated, he wants to go shopping now pronto pronto and just tried to wake up niclas but got a "uuuhuh, aa halbff houur moore" as a reply. the sun is shining and im still in a good mood! the bad thing about having such nice weather and so many things i want to do, studying poker is not fun at all. playing is a different thing, i love it, but studying and replaying hands and looking at your own mistakes is soo boring.

ok im gonna go in and give niclas a real wake up - the annoying kind :) 

torsdag 24 maj 2012

our grandparents :)
just arrived in lidköping after a 5 hour car drive with grandpa, he is here helping niclas with stuff in his new apartment and i am here to have a nice poker month and spend time with our bro :) femi is coming up next week. yeah femi told you a little about my morning, went to the hospital and then took the train to my grandparents to have a nice lunch before heading north. the drive here was really nice! the sun was shining, grandpa put on the "nostalgic 60s" cd and we sang along to aretha franklin, elvis, the beatles and many other nice bands. i asked him about the time when he was young, when he and grandma met, how they fell in love and the time before grandma. he told me crazy stories about him almost getting married in japan, working in a jazz bar in memphis and hitchhiking in texas. we also had some deep-talks about love and relationships and he gave me some advise about what i should prioritize in life. he is pretty cool my grandpa.

when we got here niclas had prepared some really nice food for us and now me and niclas just started grinding while grandpa is putting together a bookshelf. life is good! 

poker and ears

Pauline last time she put a ear swab in her ear
as you can see in Paulines earlier post we didn't have the best poker day to say at least. I went to bed early and gave up poker after losing the 3rd time with KK against AT!This morning whilst replaying hands in holdem manager I saw them all again and  it hurts:(another thing that has been hurting is Paulines she wrote yesterday she has been having problem with her ear,but I guess she didn't explain why. Truth to be told this is not the first time and I bet the last time she sticks a ear swab to far up her ear.So this morning our mum send her to the hospital for a check up and ofcourse she managed to hit her membrane.haha...poor Pauline:D

me and my cappuccino:)
well,enough about poker and ears and more focus on fun stuff!!I wont for a minute play poker this weekend cause I have a surprise visit from Holland:)!Pauline is heading north in Sweden to spend some weeks at our brothers place...I will soon be joining her just gonna get the best out of Malmö before I leave!Oh and did we say we finally found a place to stay in July?We are going back to Malmö typical us,no order,no structure but a whole lot of fun back and forth!Now I will be heading for a cappuccino,so long lovers

the day today

not the best day ever - bad poker day, still having pain in my left ear and im afraid it's turning into a full blown infection, poker guys can be SO stupid (writing stuff like "put your finger in your ass" in the chat) both me and femi have a headache that won't go away and i've been eating so much pork rinds my stomach hurts. we suspect it might be the monthly visitor pms doin it's deed. anyway, im gonna finish the last tables and then take a looong bath with candles and a good book, what the hell i might even throw in a home made face mask while i'm at it! it's times like these my guy always took care of me and told me nice things, gave me massages etc. but now all i have is two women with pms in the house (mom and femi) and two annoying cats that chase each other around and lick each other in the butt so i'll just have to take care of myself.. tomorrow im gonna go visit my brother for a month in my old home town. im gonna sign up to the gym and get back to doing yoga several times a week, looking forward to it. im to lazy to take a photo right now so i'll post a video for a change :) starring a tipsy and happier pauline doing "jai tycker du e sött!"

onsdag 23 maj 2012

hairy italian

today I got called fat,stupid,lucky and Italian. at the poker table...usually I don't pay attention too what others write cause I have too many tables...but when I'm being called stupid hairy I wish we all could see eachother:D
the day have been slow and I'm even out...Pauline is watching a movie on the computer and I'm gonna sleep!night

tisdag 22 maj 2012

summer,kind of wonderful

So I guess it's my turn to write something nice to the title Pauline gave me.The first thing that cross my mind is a summer we spent in Italy 3 years ago.It was some kind of wonderful and included everything an amazing summer should.In June we packed our bags told our family we will be back in a week and went with a bus to Italy,to a city called Riccione. We had booked a 10 days vacation on a hotel close to the beach.After a day we decided to stay and look for jobs and so we did. Instead of going back to Sweden we stayed the whole summer working at a hostel and dancing the nights away!Endless summer nights,summer loves,Italian coffee and ice cream!We went to Milan for a crazy day, friends came to visit us from all the world,and we made new friends for life..It was a great summer and one of the best ones in my life!Here are some pics from that time

måndag 21 maj 2012

the day so far

Today before starting our working day we went for a walk in the harbour and drank coffee.The weather is getting better and better,today we could actually be in our summer cloths:)

the wild brunch

we got a request about a topic from a reader, she wanted to read more about our stories and things that has happened while travelling etc. so me and femi agreed to a new type of post- one of us choose the title and then the other one has to write a post about a story of ours that comes to mind.

now she picked the title "the wild brunch" and i'll write a post about it.

the first thing that i think about is a brunch we had in france. okay i'll tell you why we ended up having brunch in the country side of france and how it got a little out of line. we were picked by the swedish slow food community to represent sweden in that years terra madre that was held in france, tours (terra madre is a yearly food festival that promotes ecological, organic and locally produced food). all the representatives from the different countries around the world were hosted by a family in and around the city of tours. me and femi got to stay with an old couple in a village  on the country side. at the welcome brunch the couple gathered other families around the village that also were hosting slow fooders and every family brought something that they had made or grown.

when we got there we mingled a bit, me and femi were both singles at the time and had both spotted a cute guy at the other side of the room. after chatting with some locals it was time for the brunch, a big buffet with lots of cheeses, pates and meat dishes was served and we were starving so we put a LOT of food on our plates. when we sat down at the table (all in all we were about 12 people) they were joking about how much the swedish little girls ate. the food was absolutely horrible, it all had a weird soil taste. after two glasses of wine i had an idea, the brunch wasn't so funny so to spice things up i asked femi if she wanted to do our "challenge game"- basically we give each other embarrassing challenges and get punished if we don't follow through. femi was somewhat tipsy as well and thought that was a great idea. femi started with mine, the cheeses were absolutely horrible and tasted just like sheep smells and since we saw that the cute guy didn't try any of the cheeses, my challenge was to ask him why he didn't try the cheese and then go with him to the buffet and make him put as much cheese as possible on his plate. yep thing was an embarrassing one, but the wine sure helped. "hello you! yeah you, why didn't you try the cheese?" he told me he wasn't a big fan of cheeses and then i replied "oh my, then you haven't tried this one, you'll love it, come here and lets get some". my plan worked and he went with me to the buffet, i put a whole brie cheese (the brie was the worst one of them all) on his plate and then went back to my seat and started to think about a nice equally as embarrassing challenge for femi.(the guy gave me the angry face the rest of the meal and did not finish his cheese). she happened to sit next to the farmer that produced the cheeses, her challenge was to ask as much as possible about how he made them,what the secret to their deliciousness was and tell him it was the tastiest cheese she ever tried. she did her challenge. but it all backfired on both of us, the farmer had overheard what i told the cute guy and he noticed that no one was eating the cheeses, he stood up and said that "these swedish girls absolutley love my cheeses, i see that no one is eating them ,is it okay if we give them the last two trays?" everyone gladly said yes and the two huge trays of cheese were passed on to us. by then the WHOLE table were looking at us, wanting to see how we actually could take another bite of that awful tasting cheese, and i think i even noticed an evil smile on the face of the cute guy. we figured we had to finish at least one of the trays, said and done, we doubled the wine and forced 2 discusting brie cheeses down. after that we felt so sick the couple drove us home.

yep that's my story of "the wild brunch".